Abab's survival guide

If Abab was a person, he'd be an angry short seller who's always yelling profanities into his phone to whoever's on the other line (and just lost a million bucks because of him). We like plant Abab much better, with his glossy green leaves and distinctive fenestrations (a fancy word for holes). But if Abab got his way we’d ship him off to New York and put him in a corner office with a bunch of traders and brokers shouting “Sell, sell, sell!” and hurling insults that would make even some presidents blush. There’s now a rumour going around the Plantsome office that he once tried to sell cuttings of his bigger brother Alfredo. The fact that Eileen outed him is Abab’s deepest regret, that and not being planted before bitcoin was a thing.

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